Morti (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} morti) wrote,@ 2009-04-26 22:38:00 |
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Sunlight shining through cloud (or something similarly emo for LJ sake)
Two posts in as many days? Shocking. Today was amazing though so I'm going to write about it.
Woken up by Jasper this morning, had a ten minute snooze then fed him. After which I had exactly the right amount of time to shower, do hair, watch Cheers, smoke a cigarette, get dressed and my lift to church turned up as soon as I opened the door. Perfectly timed. Nice sunny day and it stayed as such until it got dark. This was especially good because I got new sunglasses yesterday, first time I've owned any as far as I can remember. Got to church at 9am which I enjoyed but was mostly uneventful. Since I've been pretty depressed lately (to the point of stress-induced hair loss) it was nice to be up, awake and willing to help with a smile.
Church was excellent. Or rather, the presence of The Holy Spirit was excellent. Worship was so great and I really connected with God but there weren't any words brought for me specifically and I wasn't in a place where I needed to be singled out and told anything specific, God and I just connected. I felt filled with The Holy Spirit in a straightforward joyful way, feeling like I was God's son when so often I've felt like I've had to be His "project" (although I know that's not how He sees me).
In fact, God so overwhelmed the church during worship that the preacher didn't give the preach he'd spent so long preparing. He came before the church in tears, saying he was a "broken man" and that the sermon he'd so meticulously prepared wasn't right. God had been telling him something else all week and he'd tried to work it into a mostly unrelated sermon (the church was going to start a new series today). Honest, convicted and humble he just preached what God had told him about in the week and what God was saying to him in the morning, which fitted perfectly with prophetic words other people had brought during the worship.
This is what church should be about!
After the slightly shortened sermon we were encouraged to split up into groups and share any words that we may have had for one another. God was speaking so clearly to so many people that there wasn't time to have everyone come to the front and share so we shared with each other in groups then prayed. This is the first time I've seen this happen on a Sunday morning in all the years I've been at The City Church Canterbury (since December 2002). I had a word about how the biggest pain Jesus felt on the cross wasn't the nails but it was the separation from The Father. The perfect relationship of The Son and The Father which had been in place since before creation was broken while Christ took on the sins of the world. We were also talking about how Jesus felt every temptation and understands every trial we go through; my point was that He even knew separation from The Father due to sin (although not His own) and somebody was feeling that. One guy I didn't know well responded and we all prayed for him then back into some more worship.
Set down was nice and uneventful, then I got invited to a barbecue. It was mainly with people with whom I had not socialised before so how surprised was I when the "So which is your favourite window manager?" discussion came up! Turned out there were a few geeks around! Another highlight was me and Mike chasing after an ice cream van that we couldn't see but heard. We'd cycle after the sound, not find it, go back to the house disappointed, then hear the sound again. This happened twice more and we eventually found it and told the driver where Mike's house was so he could come sell us ice cream. Great stuff. Just a really nice time in the sun with some interesting discussions (not just the geeky stuff, there was some spontaneous bible study which was really interesting and fun as well as the usual party-style discussion) and some excellent people who I wouldn't normally see much of.
This took us right through until 6pm when we went to Invision (the evening meeting for students and other 20-somethings). We got there just in time for the worship which wasn't as spectacular as the morning but nonetheless great. The preach was also very good, sometimes hilarious and sometimes challenging. Good times. It was about Christians and drinking, standard student-y subject and well-presented without (as far as I could tell) making anyone feel condemned for drinking. The overall point was that alcohol is good and a gift from God which we are to enjoy in moderation (drink, enjoy it, don't get drunk) and the solutions alcohol is often meant to solve (stress, boredom, loneliness) are to be solved in a more permanent fashion by God.
Afterwards pub with some of the guys from Invision, good time of fellowship and fun conversation nicely topped off by some very funny conversation with a few guys on the way back home. The icing on the cake is now, coming home and chilling with Andy in the living room watching Family Guy after a brief conversation about what a great day it was for both of us.
The chocolate chips in the cake (oh yes, it's that good) were the myriad of compliments I received during the day on my new hair cut, shave and glasses. Seems it's a good look. Also a lot of people didn't recognise me which was just hilarious, particularly at the pub where a bunch of girls I didn't really know said things like "IT'S BILL HAYES!?" to each other. I showed them my driving license (provisional, don't get excited). Also a few people had come back to Canterbury after being with their parents over Easter and it was wonderful to see them again.
And y'know what? For the first time in ages I've spent a whole day being around people and not once wanted to kill anyone or escape somewhere quiet and lonely. That, I think, is real evidence of my depression lifting.
God has been good to me today, very good. It's so much more than I deserve and such a wonderful gift. This rarity of an LJ post is made to commemorate a wonderful day and praise Him for it.
o/~ Our God is an awesome God
Two posts in as many days? Shocking. Today was amazing though so I'm going to write about it.
Woken up by Jasper this morning, had a ten minute snooze then fed him. After which I had exactly the right amount of time to shower, do hair, watch Cheers, smoke a cigarette, get dressed and my lift to church turned up as soon as I opened the door. Perfectly timed. Nice sunny day and it stayed as such until it got dark. This was especially good because I got new sunglasses yesterday, first time I've owned any as far as I can remember. Got to church at 9am which I enjoyed but was mostly uneventful. Since I've been pretty depressed lately (to the point of stress-induced hair loss) it was nice to be up, awake and willing to help with a smile.
Church was excellent. Or rather, the presence of The Holy Spirit was excellent. Worship was so great and I really connected with God but there weren't any words brought for me specifically and I wasn't in a place where I needed to be singled out and told anything specific, God and I just connected. I felt filled with The Holy Spirit in a straightforward joyful way, feeling like I was God's son when so often I've felt like I've had to be His "project" (although I know that's not how He sees me).
In fact, God so overwhelmed the church during worship that the preacher didn't give the preach he'd spent so long preparing. He came before the church in tears, saying he was a "broken man" and that the sermon he'd so meticulously prepared wasn't right. God had been telling him something else all week and he'd tried to work it into a mostly unrelated sermon (the church was going to start a new series today). Honest, convicted and humble he just preached what God had told him about in the week and what God was saying to him in the morning, which fitted perfectly with prophetic words other people had brought during the worship.
This is what church should be about!
After the slightly shortened sermon we were encouraged to split up into groups and share any words that we may have had for one another. God was speaking so clearly to so many people that there wasn't time to have everyone come to the front and share so we shared with each other in groups then prayed. This is the first time I've seen this happen on a Sunday morning in all the years I've been at The City Church Canterbury (since December 2002). I had a word about how the biggest pain Jesus felt on the cross wasn't the nails but it was the separation from The Father. The perfect relationship of The Son and The Father which had been in place since before creation was broken while Christ took on the sins of the world. We were also talking about how Jesus felt every temptation and understands every trial we go through; my point was that He even knew separation from The Father due to sin (although not His own) and somebody was feeling that. One guy I didn't know well responded and we all prayed for him then back into some more worship.
Set down was nice and uneventful, then I got invited to a barbecue. It was mainly with people with whom I had not socialised before so how surprised was I when the "So which is your favourite window manager?" discussion came up! Turned out there were a few geeks around! Another highlight was me and Mike chasing after an ice cream van that we couldn't see but heard. We'd cycle after the sound, not find it, go back to the house disappointed, then hear the sound again. This happened twice more and we eventually found it and told the driver where Mike's house was so he could come sell us ice cream. Great stuff. Just a really nice time in the sun with some interesting discussions (not just the geeky stuff, there was some spontaneous bible study which was really interesting and fun as well as the usual party-style discussion) and some excellent people who I wouldn't normally see much of.
This took us right through until 6pm when we went to Invision (the evening meeting for students and other 20-somethings). We got there just in time for the worship which wasn't as spectacular as the morning but nonetheless great. The preach was also very good, sometimes hilarious and sometimes challenging. Good times. It was about Christians and drinking, standard student-y subject and well-presented without (as far as I could tell) making anyone feel condemned for drinking. The overall point was that alcohol is good and a gift from God which we are to enjoy in moderation (drink, enjoy it, don't get drunk) and the solutions alcohol is often meant to solve (stress, boredom, loneliness) are to be solved in a more permanent fashion by God.
Afterwards pub with some of the guys from Invision, good time of fellowship and fun conversation nicely topped off by some very funny conversation with a few guys on the way back home. The icing on the cake is now, coming home and chilling with Andy in the living room watching Family Guy after a brief conversation about what a great day it was for both of us.
The chocolate chips in the cake (oh yes, it's that good) were the myriad of compliments I received during the day on my new hair cut, shave and glasses. Seems it's a good look. Also a lot of people didn't recognise me which was just hilarious, particularly at the pub where a bunch of girls I didn't really know said things like "IT'S BILL HAYES!?" to each other. I showed them my driving license (provisional, don't get excited). Also a few people had come back to Canterbury after being with their parents over Easter and it was wonderful to see them again.
And y'know what? For the first time in ages I've spent a whole day being around people and not once wanted to kill anyone or escape somewhere quiet and lonely. That, I think, is real evidence of my depression lifting.
God has been good to me today, very good. It's so much more than I deserve and such a wonderful gift. This rarity of an LJ post is made to commemorate a wonderful day and praise Him for it.
o/~ Our God is an awesome God
